What Spring Break Is

Not What It Was Supposed to Be

I had this week’s post all planned out. Mike and I were scheduled to go to Washington, DC for the Parkinson’s Policy Forum during the first half of the week, which is also our spring break. We’d completed the introductory training on the policy positions we were advocating, packed business professional clothes for our visits to Capitol Hill, and mapped out the logistics.

On Saturday, we drove to the Park and Fly hotel near O’Hare, tracking the approaching winter weather. I felt like I was getting a sinus infection, but I was hoping it might just be allergies. But by the time we checked into the hotel, I felt worse. On top of the sinus pressure, I was dizzy and confused. We decided not to go to DC. I sent emails to all of my contacts, apologizing for missing the event. As we headed back to Iowa City, I was disappointed, but my body was craving rest, and now I had the time for it.

Mother Nature seemed conflicted about her spring break plans as well. We got snow on Monday and Tuesday, and beautiful spring weather by the end of the week. Friday marked the beginning of astronomical spring, and it felt like spring as well. But I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life, and I’ve learned that Mother Nature has little interest in the calendar. I’m not sure that I would even say that the weather is supposed to be spring-like from here on out.

How do we even determine what is supposed to happen? A quick Google search reveals that the word “supposed” has a variety of meanings, including:

• Generally assumed or believed to be the case, but not necessarily so

• To have a duty or a responsibility to

• Assume that something is the case on the basis of evidence or probability but without proof or certain knowledge

The weather has no duty or responsibility to anyone, and the evidence shows that snows in early spring are common, at least in Iowa. So, although the calendar reports astronomical spring and the University of Iowa has proclaimed spring break, it is hard to argue that the weather is supposed to be 70 degrees and sunny. It is lovely when it is, but not unexpected when a late snow sneaks in.

I was supposed to go to Washington, DC over spring break. This supposition was based on plane and hotel registrations, meetings scheduled, and commitments made. Once I signed up, I felt a responsibility to the event organizers as well as an internal responsibility to do something meaningful to me. The evidence suggests that I usually follow through on plans like these.

But I wonder if I need another definition of "supposed," one that is guided more by my body than by my calendar. Maybe this spring break, I was supposed to rest. It was not what I had planned to do, but maybe it was what I was supposed to do.

This spring break, I took naps almost every afternoon, dozing off to one Book Riot podcast episode and waking up to another one. I read the first few paragraphs of a dissertation proposal that is coming to life. I filled out my March Madness brackets and watched So Much Basketball. I reassessed my plans for the spring semester and caught up on a few administrative tasks that had fallen through the cracks. I went to Trader Joe’s and bought peanut butter cups and mac and cheese bites. I read books - finishing The Light Pirate and starting Kin and One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This. I took walks with Annie.

Photo: Warm enough to read on the porch.

Maybe what we choose to do when there are no “supposed to’s” tells us something interesting about ourselves. This week, I have practiced not filling the space with new “supposed to’s,” seeing what the day brings, letting life come to me. This is not my natural tendency. There are always tasks I’m supposed to be doing, most of them associated with work. And honestly, I used some of my found time to do those tasks. But I also thought a lot about what my friend, Kate Zipay wrote in the new Substack she started with Allie Gabriel, Paying Attention with Kate and Allie. She suggested that, just like with eating, we should pay attention to signals that we have worked enough and stop when we are pleasantly full. Maybe we aren’t supposed to do more.

This spring break, I didn’t take many pictures. I don’t have noteworthy stories. My social media was quiet. But my list of delights has grown. (Those mac and cheese bites were such a nice surprise.) My body feels rested. My brackets are not perfect, but not yet broken. That is what spring break is this year.